Regarding television: OK, so I've gotten sucked into watching The Bachelor, and while I shouldn't make fun of the ladies competing, it's really hard not to do so. I just won't blog about it, but seriously, it's so hard. Like, as hard as being a contestant with developing feelings. Like really, *that* hard. Because I came here to find my true love.


Regarding CAKE: I'm ready for my mother's cake decorating class to be over already. She's got skills indeed. But she has to make a cake every week, and you know, someone has to eat those cakes.


Regarding Max: It was two years ago this month that we added a small "Jack Russell Terrier" mix to our family. I'm not stupid, but it did take me a while to conclude that this dog? He has Chihuahua in him. Fo sho. It's like he has a Jack Russell body and a Chihuahua head. But I was in denial (and mourning). However, this theory was proven by my four-year-old who recently declared,

"Max is a Chihuahua, like in Beverly Hills Chihuahua."

Case closed.

We moved into our current home one year and one week ago today. And I'm finally feeling settled and starting to love this place. It took longer for me to bond with this house than it did with my first one. I was a little overwhelmed by this one at first ... more space, a much larger yard to care for, and a much higher mortgage. But finally, I'm becoming attached.


I was recently laid off from the job I'd been at for four-and-a-half years, which is quite scary, especially in this economy ... however, I know moving here was the right thing to do, as was moving Ryder to a more expensive school the week before I was let go.


Fortunately, I received a good severance package and should be in good shape for several months. But it's still really scary.


I'm hoping for lots of luck and good fortune in 2009. Hope you are all enjoying the holiday ... and remember, family is definitely what's most important.

From: Jennifer
FWD'd message to: E

Wanting to share b/c I have such a great relationship with Baz.

Just read us below. We're fucking hilarious. I love us. I will lick us. And then I will lick your running shoes that cross the finish line of the Turkey Trot. Because I am just that classy.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jennifer
Date: Nov 26, 2008 8:34 PM

Couple things after thinking some ...

First, you don't have cancer. You have an unnecessary organ that simply must go. The purpose? So you can fuck that surgeon. I have an inkling that might happen. And you know, then you can say you fucked a surgeon. A blonde one at that. That's not your everyday accomplishment.

Second, how could you give up your dog tags to some hooker? Seriously? They don't quite compare to a toothbrush or t-shirt. If it was your ex-fiance, I could overlook it, forgive it even. But to some random chick? I, for one, would have taken much better care of them. So now, it's me and Joseph Atherley. I will care for his just as much. I might even lick them now and then.

We should so be a sitcom.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: B
Date: Nov 26, 2008 12:49 PM

A chick asked to borrow my dogtags once when I first got back, and she never returned them.

Trophies.

My gall-bladder has a growth in it, and they want to make sure it's not cancerous (not likely considering the size of the growth and my age). Being safe.

And TOUGH!

... cause I'm tough enough. Cause I'm tough e-nuff!

Yeow!

- Baz

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jennifer
Date: Nov 25, 2008 3:18 PM

How did I not know you supported Capitalism? How did I not know you were in the Marines? Do you have dog tags? Did you know I just bought dog tags off eBay? Seriously. They belonged to Joseph Wardman Atherley, US Navy. I don't know him or anything. WWII. I just wanted some. He's the lucky guy.

And you never told me *why* they want your gall bladder.

Whoa-o here she comes ...

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: B
Date: Nov 25, 2008 2:39 PM

I haven't gotten an appt yet, but in a month or so.

I don't have health insurance (are you high?), but since the Marines screwed up my hip, I get free medical from the VA. Turning out to be a very nice perk, eh?

Put yourself through college and chase your dream = "Die sick, artist boy.

Volunteer to kill humans in the name of Capitalism = 'We'll take care of you forever, patriot.'"

I LOVE cookies.

... and that pic.

... man-eata.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jennifer
Date: Nov 25, 2008 1:35 PM


That's a fucking awesome story. Seriously. I want to post it. YOU post it. But I know you won't.

When's your shit coming out? How long will you be in the hospital? Your insurance covering it? Can I bake you cookies?

Reason number 443 for why I love this guy. He wrote:


My plan, as I formed it while talking to the hot blonde surgeon, was to impress her. Her plan was to take out my shit.


She said they need to take out the gall bladder.


I said, "Have it."


She said my tummy scar would make it difficult for them to take it out the modern, easier way.


I said, "So...".


She said they had to go in by my ribs and dig around and cut it out.


I said, "Cool."


She said it's more painful.


I said, "Just during recovery, though. Right?"


She said yeah.


I said, "No problem."


She said it'd leave a much bigger scar.


I said, "I LOVE scars."


And judging by that fuck-me look that passed ever so briefly though her eyes when I said it, we both won.

So you remember Gertie, our Beta fish, and perhaps my concern in explaining fishy heaven and all that to Ryder. Well the deal is, he didn't even notice that the fish had died until about a week ago, when he asked, "Momma, where's Gertie the fish?," and I was so unprepared to answer the question because at that point, I just figured he'd forgotten about her entirely. I mean, she died two months ago.


We'd recently returned from vacation, so when I stuttered a response to that first question, he began to develop his own conclusion. I tried to explain that there's a lifespan for every organism and that the fish lifespan is not that long, that we were lucky to have had Gertie for two years. Yet he asked, "Is she in Ohio? Is she at Nana's?" And I tried to explain that she died ... two frickin months ago, and that he will be fine, and that we could get another fish if he so desired.


So today we got Ruby, which he named her, though he keeps inadvertently calling her Gertie.


It's just interesting to see life and death from the perspective of a child. He was mostly concerned about where Gertie was than what actually happened to her.


So anyway, he wasn't terribly distraught, and now we have Ruby. Another responsibility for me! :) (Don't tell Ryder but "she's" actually a "he." And he is pretty darn cute, as far as Betas go.)

Bagels are the yum. I go through phases with them. At one point I didn't have one for more than a year because, you know, carbs are bad. My dad has cut all bread from his diet. WTF? Have you seen the man? I don't think this is necessary.


I only work half the day today, and this makes me happy. I've yet to decide how to spend my afternoon ... I'm meeting someone for lunch, and then I do whatever I please til yoga. Yesterday, I wanted to go shopping. My heart's only half there today, on this half-day. I think it's because there are a number of things I want to buy, but they're all over the place ... yesterday I was thinking "I need jeans," and "I want shoes" (and I'm blaming Em and T, respectively, for that). Today I'm thinking about paint colors for the study and Pottery Barn for a rug, and I want a new desk.


I think I might now be craving some retail therapy due to a bit of anxiety over the traumatic experience that I shall call "next week." (Its threat advisory might be orange, as was this one, might be yellow. Is the threat advisory ever green? Come on; I could use a green week.) As a matter of fact, this entire month has been disappointing; you'll recall I was anticipating a carefree September? Not so much. But October ...


Reasons I am slowly falling in love with October:
1) It's not here yet, and it's not quite within reach so ...
2) I love the *idea* of it
3) Um, Oct. 1, people -- DSM Season Dos
4) The weather is usually damn near perfect
5) It's my son's birthday month thus ...
6) It was the last month of the year in which I was ever pregnant (bittersweet)


By the way, did you see the way I just went from half-hearted-about to craving the shopping? This is typical behavior.


And seriously, we really need peanut butter.