Life By The Drop
» Stevie Ray Vaughan


Hello there, my old friend
Not so long ago it was til the end
We played outside in the pouring rain
On our way up the road we started over again


You're livin our dream oh you on top
my mind is achin,' Lord it won't stop
That's how it happens livin life by the drop


Up and down the road in our worn down shoes
Talkin about good things and singin the blues
you went your way and I stayed behind
We both knew it was just a matter of time


You're livin our dream oh you on top
my mind is achin,' Lord it won't stop
That's how it happens livin life by the drop


No wasted time, we're alive today
Churnin up the past, there's no easier way
Time's been between us, a means to an end
God it's good to be here walkin together my friend


We're livin our dreams
my mind's stopped achin,'
That's how it happened livin life by the drop
That's how it happened livin life by the drop
That's how it happened livin life by the drop

It's strange how things can affect you. I've always thought myself to be straight-forward, open and honest, but the thing is, I'm only some of those things some of the time. Open? Well, no, and particularly not in person, though being open on paper is more comfortable for me. Some of the things, some of the time ...


My friend, Sarah, is dead. Saying she "passed away" is supposedly the way to soften it, but how can you really, possibly soften the death of a 33-year-old wife, mother, daughter, friend? If you would have told me on Halloween, when our boys went trick-or-treating together, that she would be gone in six months, I would have never believed you. After eight years of remission, her Cancer came back with a vengeance and went through her body like a tornado. She learned she had "innumerable Cancerous lesions" in her liver on April 27. I saw her May 4. She started chemo May 8. She died May 12.


I haven't properly grieved, and I know some of that is because I'm still in denial. I mean, she went to San Diego for treatment, and it's like I think she's still there on vacation. Her family was moving there ... it's complicated, but they're all gone now. They're there, but they're there without her.


Sarah was beautiful, and hilarious, and one of those rare people who make you feel instantly comfortable. Our first meeting was at a campout, and she was probably the only girl who enjoyed getting her drink on as much as I did. We bonded while shot-gunning beers. Our relationship evolved into something special and more mature as the years passed ... as she and Kevin started a family ... as I started my own and she introduced me to the magic of Infants' Mylicon while constantly telling me to chill the fuck out, that I wouldn't break the damn kid.


We didn't see one another often enough, making it even more difficult for me to believe I won't see her at the next event, at her twins' fourth birthday party in July. And I cannot fathom for one minute what her boys are going through. I don't have words for them or for Kevin. As blessed as we all were to have known her, she was blessed with a wonderful, caring, husband to whom she was married 13 years. It breaks my heart to see her family going through this.


If I haven't grieved, maybe it's because I just don't know for whom I should start.

From this article on Slate:


"Albert Einstein, said (in a quote that doesn't make it into The Secret): 'Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.'"


Loud and clear.


Just the other day a friend asked me if I really did read this book. And I did, until I quit. The author of the Slate article gives a pretty good assessment.


I feel sort of like I did when I was 19 years old and read The Rules (yes, I admit it), only now I'm supposed to be old enough to know better.


I must quit listening to Oprah Winfrey.


UPDATE: Another one of my favorite quotes from this article (though you probably have to read it to put the quote into context):


"... I thought starting with the million-dollar manifestation was like saying, 'I love you' on a first date; I didn't want to scare the universe into not taking my calls. I came up with three things I thought the universe would find reasonable: a kitchen floor, unclogged sinuses, and a new desk."